I will never forget the day when a woman came in looking to speak to one of the counselors. While waiting she began to talk to me. She was here because her daughter had a problem and LICADD was her only hope. After seeing one of the counselor, she walked out full of hope and at ease. She turned to me and with tears in her eyes said “thank God for this place.”

 - Lilliann Kravchuk, Communication Major, Hofstra University

There were 4 people, all of different families. They all took to the interventionist very well. Every time the interventionist would discuss a particular topic you could see that it always touched someone. You could see each member absorbing the information and reflecting on their own personal experiences.

This particular session focused on the fact that family members “did not cause it, can not control it, and can not change it.” Family members usually come in feeling a lot of guilt and blame themselves for their family member’s addiction. It seems that the family members left this session with some sort of closure, and that is a great accomplishment for both the interventionist and the family members.

It seems that the interventionist answers the family member’s question, and questions that they have been wondering for a while. It seems that the interventionist gives them hope, and at that point means the world to them. Having hope is really important especially at a time like that in one’s life.

As an intern I am learning every single day that I am at LICAAD. Just sitting in on these sessions alone educates me a large amount. I look forward to all the future session, as well as anything I am part of at LICAAD.

– Jade Nelson, MSW student, Stony Brook University School of Social Welfare

The education presented by Jerry consisted of defining addiction, exploring why people use drugs, why some people become addicted and others do not, biological and environment factors that increase vulnerability to addiction, how the brain changes when substances are consumed, how drugs work in the brain to produce pleasure, long term effects of drug use on the brain, the consequences of drug addiction and we discussed an overview of common drugs used and abused in today’s society.

Upon completion of the presentation of the education material, a discussion ensued regarding the participant’s personal experiences and challenges on their family members.  We had a discussion on some of the elements in communities and societies that contribute to the current abuse of harmful substances.

We also had a discussion in regards to the effect that the substance user is having on the family.   Substance abuse and/or dependence effects everyone in the household in a multitude of negative ways including, but certainly not limited to, fear, embarrassment, helplessness, isolation of both the dependent and those in his/her immediate families, and confrontations.   

I found it very interesting, when at certain junctures, of the education and discussion, one of the family members, inadvertently, discussed their own substance use and talked of blacking out and talked of the effect of not being able to recall up to a week of her life after smoking marijuana in relatively large quantities.  This signified to me that the cycle of abuse may be trickling down to the next generation possibly due to the vulnerability of children of substance abusers.

The families had a positive response to the education and expressed that it was helpful and they will be returning next week for the chronological presentation of education and discussion on the disease of substance dependence.  The families were discussing how they were going to come up with excuses to come to the next session.  I found it interesting that Jerry educated the families that it is okay and productive for them to be honest with their loved ones that they are seeking help for their challenges in dealing with their loved ones chemical dependence and the effect it has on them.  I am looking forward to the next educational session.

– Steven R. Weinberg, MSW student, Stony Brook University, School of Social Welfare

Jerry produced a visual family tree of the people involved, which I saw as a great way to visualize who is who and to help all involved see part of the component of how the subject, that all were present for, got to where she is. Namely, she is at a place where her life and her family’s life are being disrupted enough that about ten people who are close to her showed up on a Monday evening to put in time to try and assist her to get her help.

I observed that the family members really care for this person and I also observed that Jerry really cares and is passionate about what he does. He reported to me that he has been doing this for over fifteen years and it was evident in the way he worked. I found myself, as I often have, being in the field for nine years, feeling attached and hopeful, for the family and the woman who is having serious challenges with her substance of choice. While observing the process, I felt non-invasive and I absorbed a lot of useful techniques annd insights. The night culminated with a handshake from the woman’s husband which was unexpected and certainly welcome. I am looking foward to observing the evolution of the process of interventions.

 - Steven R. Weinberg, MSW student, Stony Brook University, School of Social Welfare

I thought that it was very appropriate that the interventionist asked the family if they would mind us sitting in. The family did not mind in the least, which was good. I learned a lot from sitting in on those 2 hours. The interventionist is very educated and I was fascinated by how well he does his job. The way that he structures the interventions seems to promote a very high success rate. The interventionist was very helpful to the family in many different respects, but most of all, it was clear that they were leaving there with hope.

The interventionist gave the family a lay-out as to how they should write the letters that they will read to their family member during the actual intervention. The format of the letter was very structured as well, but the interventionist has the family members send him the letter for him to go over and revise if needed.

Overall, I was very fascinated by even just the first meeting with only the family members. The interventionist’s system and education on this program is amazing. I am really looking forward to sitting in on the actual intervention in the future, as well as other planned interventions.

 - Jade Nelson, MSW student, Stony Brook University School of Social Welfare

On Friday, October 12, 2007, a number of seniors, juniors and even sophomores from at least one Nassau County high school participated in Midnight Madness. I know. Keep it on the down low. Somebody could get into serious trouble.

Midnight Madness, for those who don’t know, is a yearly ritual hosted by the graduating high school senior class – a scavenger hunt of sorts where cars full of our impressionable teenage children drive around town, vying to be the first to complete a laundry list of tasks so disturbingly self-deprecating that I don’t feel comfortable disclosing their specifics. Suffice to say that this year’s activities included drinking, smoking and sexual conduct brazenly and openly performed. In some cases, the behavior was memorialized by photographs or videos, images preserved and effortlessly transmitted with just the click of a button from one cell phone to another, or to Facebook for friends, classmates and the rest of teenage America to see. Bragging rights. Just another keepsake to fill the coming-of-age scrapbooks of our teenagers, their “proof” to each other of their new-found independence, maturity and worldliness. Since when did following the crowd and stuffing one’s feelings come to represent maturity and worldliness? Wasn’t it only yesterday that we took pride in watching our children demonstrate individuality, sensitivity and compassion? How have we regressed so far in such a short time?

Unfortunately for some, the photos and other recordings of the evening’s disturbing events are not needed to remind them of what transpired, the images likely etched indelibly in their minds as they struggle in silence to come to terms with the how’s and why’s of their participation in such self-destructive behavior. And that, for me, is the part of this that is so disturbing – the code of silence that requires that complete secrecy about the evening be maintained around adults. Participation in the event, some say, is grounds for academic discipline, so stealth mode must be observed at all costs.

And so, a conspiracy of silence follows, sweeping into its net participants and non-participants alike, kids unwilling to talk for fear of getting themselves or their classmates into trouble, and parents who have come to learn of the events but who don’t want to violate the trust of or complicate the life of their children. The silence that follows on the heels of such an event, is clearly more destructive than the event itself because it deprives the entire community of the opportunity to talk candidly about the many feelings, some quite powerful, that are a natural product of such an evening. With silence, moreover, there is no accounting, no lesson, no learning and no reason to hope that future behavior would be any better. We know that even the most responsible kids exercise poor judgment at one time or another. Unless confronted with such behavior, children will never learn the important lessons that come from those lapses. And the message that goes out to their younger brothers and sisters is that misbehaving and covering up are acceptable ways to operate. It should come as no surprise when these younger siblings make those same mistakes.

It doesn’t matter how I came to learn of the events of October 12. What does matter is that there are children out there who require our intervention and guidance. Our kids need us to pierce the veil of secrecy and silence — which helps to perpetuate our denial of the underlying conduct – and begin to honestly recognize its truly destructive nature and sort out appropriate consequences. We don’t have to go this alone, either. Thankfully, there are programs, workshops and resources available to us that can facilitate our progress in this regard.

I can’t imagine that I am the only parent aware of what happened that night. I know there must be others out there who wish to take action but who feel bound by the same constraints that I do. We need to come together to accomplish these ends. Without others, I am alone, a coward in the face of silence.

Cowered into silence, afraid to disaffect my children, I remain

Anonymously Yours